What I'm missing
by Baby24-Misery
Summary: Based on some spoilers regarding Season 3. Danny confronts Lindsay, but finds out more than he expected. COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Yup, I don't own anything, except of this computer. Well, actually, my brother owns it...so...moving on.

Summary: Based on some spoilers regarding Season 3. Danny confronts Lindsay, but finds out more than he expected.

**What I'm missing**

Danny was trying to figure out how to confront Lindsay for a few days now. And while trying to figure out that, he was also trying to figure out, why he was trying at all. They were colleagues, and friends some would say, but then, there was something more. Something that was obvious to the entire lab and to them also. Only, he was the one who was willing to admit the attraction and chemistry between them, which was weird in his book. He knew that Lindsay was flirting with him also, in her own way, and he knew that she liked him. She always acted jealous when women were flirting with him. But, he couldn't figure out why she was so afraid to admit it. Sure, he was used to the fact that women were throwing themselves at him, but he hasn't flirted with them ever since that woman in the subway. An that was long time ago. The only woman he wanted to flirt with was Lindsay. He wasn't an idiot, he didn't expect from her to behave like those women. They went already moved from that position. What he expected from her was that she at least gives in to that chemistry between them. But, no. Every time they were alone, and the conversation took a turn to a dangerous place, she would pull away. And that was making him frustrated but curious also. He wanted to know why she was so scared. And since he was blunt most of the time, he decided that the best thing would be to confront her. He just had to figure out two "little" things: where and how.

First he wanted to ask her before their shift, so she couldn't run away from him. But, he didn't want to go through a day looking at her and waiting for her to say something that will break him. So he decided on a different approach. He will wait till the end of the shift while she comes back to their office. He will skip the small talk and ask away.

So, now, Danny was sitting in his office, going through some papers that were already wrinkled from his hands, and he was waiting. He knew that Lindsay had to stay longer and he expected her any minute. Like on a cue, she entered the office, and found herself surprised to see him there.

"I must be dreaming…" she muttered sarcastically. "Why are you still here? The shift ended an hour ago."

"I could ask the same question, Montana." He was nervous as he waited for her to put her stuff down. His eyes never left her though.

Lindsay felt his eyes on her, but she didn't dare to look up. There was something in the air, and she wanted to leave the room and get coffee as soon as possible. She put her stuff down, and, not looking, turned around to leave the room.

"Where are you going?" Danny's voice startled her.

"I'm going to get some coffee before going home." She said again turning away from him.

"Can I ask you something first?" He asked knowing that if she leaves that room, his courage will leave him.

"Can it wait?" She hopefully asked. Whatever it was, she doubted that it had something to do with their work.

"No. No, it can't. I just have one question for you and as soon as I get the answer, you can go and get your coffee."

She looked at him knowing that his question will not be the easy one, but she also knew that he will not let her go that easily. This was Danny Messer after all.

"OK, ask away." She said and sat on the edge of her desk. He slowly walked closer and she tensed. His eyes were giving away that he noticed the tension in her.

" Why whenever it's time to acknowledge the chemistry between us, you pull away?" His voice was hoarse and the mixture of his words and his voice made her skin hot. He looked directly at her, and behind his glasses she could see the anticipation. Lindsay took a deep breath and looked away. She knew she couldn't lie to him, but also she knew that the answer will not satisfy him, because she didn't like it also.

"Danny…" She started, but she didn't know what to say. His eyes were penetrating her; and she didn't trust her voice.

"Lindsay, all I want is an answer, whatever it is." He said, like his question was an easy one.

"It's not that simple." She whispered and looked down.

"What's not? The reason you pull away from me?" He sounded hurt, but he needed to know the answer.

"Yes."

He walked even closer and now he was standing directly in front of her, like many times before she pulled away from him. Only this time, he decided that if she tries to run again, he will stop her.

"Just tell me." He reached wanting to put his hand on her shoulder, but the door suddenly opened and Stella rushed in.

"Oh, good! You two are still here."

"What's up, Stella?" Lindsay asked thankful for the distraction.

"You need to come to Mac's office. It's his birthday and since we're all here, I bought some champagne and I thought it would be nice if we could at least have a glass of it together." She stood at the doorway knowing that she interrupted something, but she couldn't put her finger on it.

"We'll be there in a minute." Danny said giving Stella the look. He needed to hear the answer and he knew this was his only chance. Unfortunately, Lindsay disagreed. She didn't know what to tell him, and she didn't want to be alone with him.

"No, we can go now. No reason to keep everyone waiting." She refused to look at Danny as she got up from her desk and walked towards the door. She walked by Stella and went straight to Mac's office, not waiting for the two of them. Stella was now watching Danny with the look that said: you better tell me what's going on.

Danny sighed and took off his glasses. He rubbed his eyes wondering if that was it. If his chance to hear the answer to his question disappeared.

"Danny, what's up?" Stella asked putting her hand on his shoulder.

"It's just…" He took a deep breath not knowing if he should say anything.

"Did something happen between you and Lindsay?"

He chuckled thinking how her question was a sword with two sharp edges. And he honestly didn't know the answer to that question.

"I have no idea. Let's go celebrate our boss's birthday. I'm surprised that he went along with it." He joined her at the door and they started to walk side by side.

"What makes you think he had any word in it at all?"

Danny chuckled.

"You're something else, Stella."

"Thank you. Now, walk faster or they won't leave us any booze. Since he's off his pain medication, Flack said that nothing will stand between him and that champagne. And I paid big bucks for it. I'm drinking it."

They entered Mac's office and Danny first looked to see where Lindsay was sitting. She was sitting on the edge of the couch, but there wasn't any room on it. Luckily, there was a chair right next to her and he went there. She refused to look at him, and she played with her glass.

"Where's Hawkes?" Stella asked.

"I'm right here. Sorry, I'm late." Hawkes entered the room breathing deeply like he was running.

"Yeah, I saw you talking to that new girl in the lab. Something going on there?" Flack asked knowing that Hawkes will be embarrassed, but that never stopped him. Everyone chuckled seeing the look on Hawkes's face.

"Come on. Of course not. She's my colleague." Hawkes said as he accepted the glass from Mac.

Both Danny and Lindsay winced, but no one seemed to notice except the two of them. Danny wondered if that was what was bothering Lindsay.

"And that's your explanation?" Flack asked surprised, "I mean, you like her, right? Ask her out!"

He made things sound so easy.

"You know, I don't remember if there was an inner-office relationship here. You, Mac?" Stella wondered out loud.

"Not that I know of. I mean, it's not forbidden or anything, but I don't think that it ever happened." Mac said.

"Which is weird knowing Messer here." Flack chuckled but stopped suddenly as Danny threw him a look that could kill.

"Yeah, I didn't have any in my department while I was working as an ME also." Hawkes responded. Danny stayed quiet, throwing glances at Lindsay to see if she'll join this conversation. But, he didn't dare to ask her anything while everyone was there. Luckily, Stella had no problems.

"What about you Lindsay? How was it in Montana?"

Lindsay looked up surprised as her mind was playing tricks on her. Should she just say it? Her eyes fell on Danny's as he was watching her also. And then she knew that this would be a perfect opportunity to give him an answer without hearing what he has to say about it. At least right away…

"Yeah. There is one story."

"Oooh, good. Tell us about it." Stella sounded eager and everyone chuckled.

"Well, it doesn't have a happy ending." Lindsay looked sad, but she continued nevertheless. "There were two people who knew each other for years. They were friends and after a while, they started going out. After only a month of them being together, something happened, before they even got to know each other on that other personal level."

She shifted in her place gathering strength to continue. The words she could use were dancing in her mind, but none of them seemed appropriate to describe what she was feeling, to describe the pain.

"So, what happened?" Stella asked quietly matching the sound of Lindsay's voice.

"He was killed during the case."

The whole room went silent. They all remembered the ones they loved and lost; friends, colleagues, spouses…until Stella spoke again.

"So, what happened to the woman? How did she cope with it?" Her voice was soft but it spoke volumes.

Lindsay's eyes were focused on one point on the wall while she was struggling with the answer.

"She investigated the case, interpreted blood spatter that broke that case open and that interpretation got her a transfer from Bozeman to New York."

A/N – OK, this will not be a long story. Only one chapter more and that is coming soon. Let me know what you think!


	2. Part 2

Disclaimer: Yup, I don't own anything, except of this computer. Well, actually, my brother owns it...so...moving on.

Summary: Based on some spoilers regarding Season 3. Danny confronts Lindsay, but finds out more than he expected.

**What I'm missing - part 2**

They were all staring at her and she knew it. It was nothing unusual for her to feel those sympathetic looks on her skin. She still felt the looks she got from her colleagues in Bozeman. And this was no different. Same looks, only different people. She also knew that the only person who wasn't watching was Danny and if there was ever a time that she hoped to have the ability to read minds, this was it.

"Lindsay, I'm sorry." Stella spoke first. "I wouldn't have asked if I'd known."

"It's OK." Lindsay quietly responded. She didn't want this to turn into a pity party for her. Especially, since that wasn't her intention. That was the reason why she transferred to New York in the first place. She needed a fresh start. She didn't want pity. She only wanted for one person to understand. She only wanted Danny to understand. When she asked for a transfer she couldn't have known that Danny Messer will walk into her life and affect her the way he did. He was wild, but kind. He read her mind when she was upset, he left her alone when she needed to be alone, he talked to Mac when he was worried and he walked into her heart when she didn't want him to. She glanced towards him, but he was just staring at his glass. Stains were starting to show on it and if someone wanted to dust that glass for prints, it would've been impossible. His state of mind was starting to show in those smudges…it was mess.

She slowly got up from her place and walked towards Mac's desk. She placed the glass gently onto the desk and smiled.

"You know, this was a long shift. I think I'm gonna head home. Mac, happy birthday."

"Thanks, Lindsey." He didn't want to stop her. He knew exactly how sometimes you just need to be alone.

Lindsey walked out still feeling everyone's eyes on her. But, she couldn't help herself with that. It was her choice after all. She was the one who decided to tell the story, knowing how it will affect them. And what scared her the most was that she didn't do it so she would be a part of the group, a part of the group who had their demons. She did it so Danny would understand.

As she was walking towards their office she wondered if he will mention it at all. Or will he just drop everything. In her mind Danny wasn't the guy who liked complicated things. His life was complicated enough.

_"Well, I guess this ends it."_ She thought as she gathered her stuff. _"Another day in paradise is over. And this ends the paradise part."_

Danny was sitting on his chair in the same position the entire time. Ha was leaning forward with his elbows on his knees trying to figure out what to do. The entire team was there and he didn't want to pretend that it was all normal. But, he knew that he had to. So, he sat there and listened to their conversation.

"I can't believe what she went through…Did you know about this, Mac?" Stella asked still feeling the emotions Lindsay's story brought up in her.

"No, I didn't. All I knew was that she was an excellent CSI who solved that awful case involving a serial killer and she wanted a new challenge. But, it's not something you would pution your resume, now is it?"

"I'd say so:" Flack interfered. "You know, I have to be honest. I though that she was just a young CSI who never witnessed a real crime until she came to New York. Man, was I wrong…" Flack sighed.

Danny shifted in his chair for the first time that night and the sound of leather was so loud to him that he expected everyone to look in his direction. And that freaked him out, because till that point he was a ghost in that room.

It wasn't the sound of squeaking leather that made Mac look at Danny. He glanced at that grow nup man, who seemed like a broken boy to him. He coughed a little before speaking.

"You know, you all don't have to stay here because it's my birthday. Shift is over and I'm sure you all have better things to do tonight than sit here."

That was the first time Danny looked up and caught Mac's eyes. None of the rest mattered anymore. Their eyes were linked for only a few seconds, when Danny slowly nodded and got up.

"Well, I'm off. Mac, all the best, once again."

"Thanks, Danny. Have a good evening."

Danny left the room without looking at anyone and the tension he was feeling in there disappeared. Only then, another kind of tension filled his lungs. He knew where he had to go, but he didn't know what he had to do or what he had to say. He was afraid that he will say the wrong thing because he was impulsive. He was mad at himself for that…

He knew that first he needed some time to calm down before heading to her apartment, so he walked there. It wasn't far and while walking he was thinking about Lindsay's story and if that story gave her enough excuses to pull away from him. Enought excuses that would make him let her go. But first he wanted to know what exactly he needed to do to make her feel safe around him.

Sooner than he thought, he found himself in front of her building. He knew exactly where it was, because he drove her home that night when Flack ended up in a hospital. But, he never went in. The door opened and some woman exited the building. She eyed him suspiciously, but than she saw his badge and just nodded.

"Going in?"

"Yeah, thanks." Danny answered and entered the building. The halls were dark as he walked towards Lindsay's door. He remembered when she told him that she lived on the second floor. It didn't take long till he found himself at his destination. Without thinking he rang the doorbell. His feelings were a mixture of fear and anger. And he felt determent. A sharp light hit his face when Lindsay checked to see who was at her door.

Since it was dark in the hallways, it took her some time to realize that the blue eyes in front of her door belonged to Danny. She sighed and opened the door. He didn't wait for her invitation and he let himself in.

"Come in." she said sarcastically. She wasn't surprised that he was there. And one part of her was glad, but the other, more insecure part, was scared.

She was watching him as he was obviously having some sort of a struggle with himself. He was walking around her living room, rubbing his neck with his hand. He took a deep breath before facing her.

"First I though it was because of the rumors about me. That you were maybe thinking I was a player trying to use you for a few hours of fun." He was looking straight at her waiting for her to say something.

"I don't want to be a substitute, Danny."

"A substitute for what?" She surprised him.

"Aiden, Danny! I'm not her."

He nodded and chuckled sarcastically not saying a word; not giving her a clue about his current thoughts.

"The stories:" She continued. "The way you talked about her. And I don't mean after she died. I mean, even before that."

"She was a friend." Danny's voice was quiet. His sentences were short, and that upset her. She had the urge to explain herself to him. And still he was not saying anything that would give her that opportunity. She knew she had to go on the ledge. He was the one who deserved some sort of explanation. Maybe not deserved, but he was there to get one.

"I can't afford the risk of losing you, especially when I wouldn't even have you at all."

Her words hurt him because they made him insincere.

"That's a lie and you know it." He came closer to her. "And I would've believed it too. Only…you showed yourself tonight, Lindsey. This isn't about me. It's about you. You're afraid to fall for me. Am I right?"

Lindsay shifted her eyes and Danny followed her every move. He knew that he was right, but there was something else there also. His mouth opened slightly as he observed her. She was holding herself in an embrace, like she was protecting herself from something, from him…But, her eyes…they showed fear that was more than just fear from the chance of falling for someone.

"Wait. I'm wrong, aren't I?" He walked even closer, now standing next to her. His moves forced her to look up. "You're not afraid of falling for me. You already did that, didn't you? You're afraid of losing me. I heard you tonight…an that's the reason you pull away."

Lindsay knew that her intuition was right before – Danny Messer was able to see right through her. And all she needed to do was to give him a little insight in her soul.

"Congratulations, Messer. You cracked the case."

"Stop it!" He yelled throwing his arms in the air. "You are not a case!"

"What am I Danny? Why do you bother so much? I know you like to win, but you can't do that now! Not at my expense!" Her voice matched his as her composure started to abandon her. She wanted to yell, lose control, because she never did that in a true way.

"This is not about victory! Sure, I want to win. But, Lindsey, I have news for you! I want to win you!"

"Danny…" Her small voice scared him. _She_ appeared so small.

Quickly he grabbed her hands again forcing her to look at him.

"I know you're scared. I understand. But, the fact that you told everyone about your past only proves that you want to get over it. With me." He took a deep breath. "Please say something."

"I need to be alone." Her voice cracked at the end which caused Danny to drop her hands. He didn't want to hurt her. He felt awful, forcing her to talk to him when she was in so much pain. He couldn't help himself and he leaned forward and kissed her. His lips were on hers only for a second but he knew that in that second he changed everything.

"Wanting to show me what I was missing?" She whispered, sarcasm dripping from her voice.

"No." He shook his head slowly moving away from her. "I wanted to show myself what I was missing. Now I know."

He started walking towards the door, feeling Lindsay's eyes on him.

She was in shock. Not only from the kiss, but because he was not suppose to say things like that. He was supposed to leave and let her be. Maybe it was from the kiss, maybe from his words, but mostly, it was because she couldn't force herself to see him go…

"Damn."

He slowly turned around matching her eyes. There was something in them that made his heart beat faster. He didn't dare to speak as he watched her, still holding the door knob.

"That was a really good line, Messer." She forced herself to smile a bit.

His breathing got faster and he moved away from the door.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Didn't know you had it in you."

He allowed himself to smirk as he walked back towards her.  
"Well, I was waiting for the right girl to use it on."

"Another good one." She softly said watching his face features as he was standing now directly in front of her. He was serious as he reached his hand and placed it on her shoulder, the other brushing her hair from her face.

"I'm serious, Lindsay."

"I know you are." She whispered placing her own hand over his.

"But, you're still scared." Her eyes told him that he was right. "I can't promise you that nothing will happen to me. But I can promise you that the chances of that are much smaller now."

She furrowed her eyebrow, not understanding him. He smirked and touched her forehead with his.

"I have you to take care of me, don't I?"

For the first time that night, she gave him that full smile that always made him feel complete.

"You're really on a roll, aren't you?"

"You know me." He chuckled, leaning forward to meet her lips for the second time that night. Just before the contact he moved away. "So, was it the kiss? That changed your mind?"

"Don't push it, Messer." She laughed and closed the distance between them. This time, there was no lingering, just the two of them…letting go.

THE END

A/N: Well, this is it! I told you, the story won't be too long.

I hope you liked it. Let me know!


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